Everything is OK...really!
Life is really scary sometimes.
Now I say this from a place of privilege. I have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat, loving family and friends, and can move throughout my day without having to worry about my general safety. I am so lucky to live the life I have.
That doesn't mean I don't get scared.
About a year ago I made the decision to completely overhaul my life. Since then, I have gone through a divorce, quit my stable office job to change careers, and moved to a new city. Each of these decisions took a lot of courage. I can't even tell you how many times I had to take a deep breath, remind myself that I'm a badass, and will myself to take the first step towards and through change. My brain has flipped the f*$k out over and over again as I've encountered new situations and challenges, watched my savings account shrink as I build a business, and even experienced new forms of fatigue from the shear amount of mental output I'm asking of myself.
If I don't watch it, my mind hijacks the situation, and before I know it I'm flailing in a sea of thoughts about how hard all this is, and how I'm never going to make it, and who do I think I am trying to make a living doing what I love....which of course only adds to the exhaustion and overwhelm.
This whole "overhauling your life" thing is no joke.
However I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm finally living and building a life I'm in love with...one scary transition at a time.
And here's the thing I'm realizing about change (big or small) - the mind is probably gonna fight it. It's the mind's job to compartmentalize, and make order and sense of things. So when we implement change (even the kind that we deeply believe in) the mind resists because change inevitably requires a little chaos and destruction. It requires this transition phase where stuff is up in the air. This is the opposite of what the mind likes. So when I see my mind freaking out, I know that it's just a natural part of the process.
I take comfort in that.
So what's a person to do when the mind freaks out? Practice practice practice! Come back to the simple tools you know ground you in this moment. For me that's chanting, moving my body, laughing it up with friends, getting into nature, and sometimes just staying up all night partying it up (though that one is more of a "once in a while" tool).
Find ways to remember to not take life so seriously, and be in the moment you inhabit right now. Because ultimately the point of our existence is to be joyful, and to remember who we truly are, which is love. Even when things are scary and stressful.
Below are some tools to help you remember this. And if you're in the Portland area, let's practice together. You can find my schedule, and upcoming events below. You can also reply to this email to connect with me directly.
Remember! You are awesome exactly as you are, and life is exactly as it's supposed to be in this moment, even if the mind is freaking out.
You've got this.